Allowing Relationships to Evolve
Relationships evolve - well… thats if you let them. The primary reason that links are broken and relationships are permanently separated is because we do not know how to navigate that evolution process. I believe this to be true especially for those in ministry leadership.
Boy do we have a hard time letting go. Once someone has made it into the innermost places of our hearts we cannot imagine them shifting to any other place in our lives. Yet I consider Miriam who was there to nurture her baby brother into the arms of Pharoah’s daughter. That same protective big sister picked him up and placed him in the arms of his natural mother.
The same sister that had to say goodbye as Moses ran into the wilderness for 40 years. Fast forward and everything had changed. “Little brother” had returned to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt. The older brother and sister had to take a lower seat and from being the leaders, they became the followers.
So guys… its time to LET PEOPLE BE! No… not everyone wants to be in your innermost circle. Do you know why? They simply do not want to pay the price to stay there. Sure enough, they want the benefits of it but they do not want to pay the price for it.
Both of you are doomed for heartache. EVOLVE! Shift that person to the “friend zone” and save both your roads! Its killing you having to drag them along with your vision and its killing them because they never meet up to the standards you have set in your ministry.
It’s really alright to evolve a disciple or a team member to the friend zone! It’s really alright to “have enough” of trying to drag that person along and to edge them to a different role in your life! The truth is though, when someone rejects your ministry, you take it as a personal rejection.
Not knocking you here - I totally get it. That ministry is your baby. Only the Lord knows how you much you invested into it. Only the Lord knows the late nights and early mornings you had travailing for that vision! When someone turns their back on it - someone you love - it feels personal.
Truth is, only family members embrace a new baby and love it (nearly) as much as you do.
If they are not partying at the birth of your spiritual baby, then they are not family or team… they are friends. Friends are people who bring joy to your life. People you can have many things in common and people that you could still learn from.
They are not family or team though and so dump the expectation and the visions of grandeur of the place you imagine them to fulfill in your future. Face it, you are exhausted anyway. Can’t you see that the Lord is trying to save you here? Yet you continue to kick against His hand and save a relationship that is ripe and ready to evolve.
Let it shift. If you do, you will save it. If you keep trying to squeeze that person into a relationship that they really do not qualify for or want, you will break it permanently. So take the easy way out (as if any of this is easy) and evolve it! Before you know it, there will be others to fill that place and before you know it, you will be looking back and saying, “What took me so long to make the change?” Welcome to the club apostle… it’s not easy for any of us and some do it with more grace than others.
As for me, relationships are the core of my ministry and life. They come, they go, they evolve and they grow me. Without them life would be terribly boring. From toxic to heavenly relationships - I need them all to thrive. Each one is a treasure and even those that turn out to be coal, add some more fire to my life
So hey, let’s keep walking. Let’s keep investing and holding tight onto those that welcome our “babies” with open arms!
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