Ramblings From a Slightly Charred Apostle!
I was 11 years old when I joined as the drummer in my first worship band. 14 when I took the pulpit for the first time. However, here I stand at 45 only now fully comprehending what it is that God has called me to do.
With every season of change, death and resurrection a bit more of who I am was revealed. Every crushing experience tore more away that was what the call was NOT. Every fresh revelation added to me and the fire refined me. The apostolic process does not happen overnight and if anyone thinks that they are called to be an apostle, step back for a minute and recognize that a long journey lies ahead of you.
Disappointments, hidden fears, exposed insecurities, failure and rejection is the fire that will try you and the hand of God is what will shape you. We seem to think that we excel most when we are added to most. Yet through the years of ministry, I have seen the Lord use the weakest to minister to the strongest.
I have seen Him blow His wind of revival over those that did not expect it and release abundant blessing on the undeserved. We are so caught up in performance and in proving ourselves that we forget that we contain the pearl of great value right within our spirits.
So when the Lord calls you to be an apostle, most of His work revolves around taking away everything that dulls the lustre of that beautiful pearl. He pulls back the hurts and fears of our hearts. He washes away our preconceived ideas and what we think we have to bring to the table.
I guess what I am trying to say guys is that you don't need more. You're enough. The Lord Jesus is not punishing you with the fire. He is refining you and bringing the best part of you to the foreground.
So after everything has been shaken, what remains? What remains is your pearl of great value. What remains is what drew you to Jesus in the first place and it is THIS pearl that holds the DNA of your call.
So do not despise the fire, no matter how hot it feels. Do not slap God's hand away when the rejections and pressures come. Don't you see that He considers you of such great value that He is taking the time to bring out the best in you?
As Craig and I have been catapulted through 2020 everything has been shaken.
Do you know what is left after all that? Jesus. His beautiful beautiful face. Does anything else really matter? Turns out that the core of who I am was always meant to reflect Jesus to His Bride. To love His people. To heal the broken. I do that as a spiritual mother, teacher, mentor and friend. You might reflect Jesus in the trenches of ministry, behind the pulpit or from the dust of the workplace.
So you shine with the particular lustre of your pearl and I will shine with mine. Together we are a beautiful sight to the Lord.
Colette Toach
www.toach-ministries.com
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